Another Holland

My Favorite Modern Day Parable 

In December 2018, someone from the UVU institute spoke in my ward, and that day, I felt that the Savior was telling me the parable Himself. So, this is his parable from my memory and notes.

You've dreamt of going to Italy your entire life. You've researched everything you've wanted to see there--the colosseum, Cathedral of Santa Maria, Venice and its boats. Finally, you've saved enough money, booked the hotels and the tours. You're on that plane just dreaming about Italy and your dreams about to come true.

The plane begins to descend. The captain announces there's been an emergency, and the flight is now going to Holland. You now have to book a new hotel, new tours, and find other attractions. This wasn't your plan.

As time passes, though, you notice that Holland has windmills. You start to become friends with the new tour group and realize you would never have met them if you were in Italy. You find new foods to enjoy and think that maybe Holland isn't so bad after all.

After another beautiful day in Holland, you jump onto Instagram, and everyone you know is talking about how beautiful Italy is. You see their pictures in the Colosseum and their descriptions of the fabulous meal they just had, and you begin to feel sad. Maybe even wonder what it would've been like if you had gone to Italy.

It doesn't mean that you don't love Holland and the experiences you've had there, but Italy was your dream. You loved that dream, and having it taken away was heartbreaking, and you need to mourn it.

My Italy(s)

I used to have just one Italy, my mission that ended fifteen months early. I couldn't help but hear returned missionaries describe their experiences, and I always wondered what it would feel like to have those same experiences. I wondered how it would feel to stand at the top of the airport escalator in triumph. 

However, as the days go by, I feel my Italy's adding up. 

I now wonder what it would have been like if COVID-19 hadn't happened and I had a wedding. What would it be like to cut a cake? To wear the dress I had loved so much? To have my entire family?

Yesterday, another one of my planes got rerouted. I took the Seminary Teaching class at BYU and surprisingly had gotten quite far. I had always dreamed of being a seminary teacher, and it was as if the Lord was creating a path for me to reach my dream. 

I took a leap of faith and left my receptionist position at a company I had worked at for years to become a substitute for seminary. I wanted to do well at practicum (the tryout for teachers) and felt that subbing would help my teaching skills. 

I finally did my practicum in September. I didn't mind the results at the time. I was so anxious to know what my fate was. However, it ended up being full of feedback. My instructor told me how close I was, that perhaps if I tried again, I would have done it. I'd be in the seminary program. 

I worked so hard to implement the feedback into my subbing lessons. I felt confident throughout the practicum. My instructor told me a good job. I believed I had done it. I had implemented the feedback, and I was going to be a student teacher. 

Then came the email. It was surreal. I had anticipated this very news for nine months now! I had not slept well in weeks over the suspension of the news. 

We regret . . .

My Holland(s)

There were tears and confusion that I had become so familiar with. I thought back to all my Italy's and wondered if I would ever touch Italy's ground. 

However, every time I wonder what life would be like if my plane had never been rerouted, I felt a sense of gratitude. I think about the growth I found in all of my Hollands.

When I came home from my mission, it was hard, but WOW, did Heavenly Father give me so much. My stake president had me go to the YSA where my dad was serving. In that ward, I met the most amazing people and had the most fun I ever had. I also had one of the best semesters of school I ever had. I got to spend time in the temple. I worked and began to save money. 

All of those experiences prepared me for when Michael came home from his mission. I had my fun, single life, and I was ready to settle down. I had my finances figured out, and I was far into school. I also got to be home when Michael came home. I honestly believe we wouldn't be where we are if I hadn't come home. 

Then there is our wedding. Yes, it wasn't a dream wedding, and I still daydream about what would have been. However, what are some wedding cliches compared to being sealed to your best friend and receiving more temple blessings? Also, it made for a crazy story, and I love my good stories. 

So, as I thought about Hollands, a sense of excitement came. Every time my plane has been rerouted, I have received something better than I could have imagined. What is that? I'm not sure. What I do know is that Heavenly Father has a plan for me.  

Maybe it's the internship I'm interviewing for tomorrow, maybe a master's degree, a kid, an adventure, who knows? Either way, I know that I'm on the right track. So here is to my next Holland! I am very excited to see it.